I would like to welcome and thank, Jonathan MoOn for taking the time out of his busy day to answer a few questions for us here at Doubleshot Reviews. I know you are extremely busy with Mr MoOn Nightmare’s All Day Day, so I truly appreciate your time.
Speaking of Mr MoOn’s Nightmare’s All Day Day…can you tell us a bit about it and what you hope to accomplish?
I’m attempting to draw attention to my collection of short stories, Mr. Moon’s Nightmares,
by getting as many people to buy it or review it on amazon.com all on the same day (12-10-10). I plan on spending all day posting up videos, profanity laced alcohol fueled reviews of my favorite movies and books, and anything else I think of. As a little added incentive I’m putting together a prize pack of my favorite independent horror, zombie, and bizarre books from some of my favorite writers. I’ll put everyone that buys a copy of Mr. Moon’s Nightmares from amazon into a drawing for the books. If they buy both Mr. Moon’s Nightmares and the recently released Houdini Gut Punch!
I’ll enter them in THREE times! I’m very excited about the day and I think it’ll be a lot of fun and spread word of my darkness.
Now let’s take a stroll backward in time, shall we? When did you first start writing? Did you know at that time that you wanted to be an author?
I’ve written my whole life. Since I was a wee-kin I scribble tales. When I was in grade school I made a comic book called ‘The Blue Ninja’ and sold it around the block. As I grew up and read more I wrote more. I grew up with my parents reading Stephen King and Dean Koontz out loud on long car rides so I have horror ingrained in me. Since then I’ve always known I’ve wanted to be a writer. Luckily for me it’s working out so far so good!
Of all the tales you have told what one are you most proud of or is most special to you? Can you share your reason?
This is a tough question. I put a little piece of myself into everything I write so everything is personal for the most part. Different things I’ve written affect me on different levels. Wasp Stings and Fever Dreams is a bastardized mix of my fears, memories, and a twisted story. So it really still scares me when I read it. Heinous is a story that has been knocking around in my head for years now so I feel like I really know the characters. Each of the GrassHopper Seasons is inspired by an actual location around where I live now. Real Love Burns (from Houdini Gut Punch) is a real attempt at me writing a love story. Yeah, I’m a sensitive soul and it all stirs something…that’s why it exists.
When you are writing, noise or quite? If noise, what kind?
It honestly goes back and forth. Sometimes I like music playing and other times I demand silence. If I have noise it’s music. I prefer heavy groovy things like Clutch, Electric Wizard, and Fiftywatthead. And wild heavy shit like Arsonists Get All The Girls. And deathy thrashy stuff like The Black Dahlia Murder. Oh, and the brutal and beautiful Between the Buried and Me. And Polka Dot Cadaver, El Creepo, and Dog Fashion Disco. Yeah, I like music heavy and dirty.
Quick pick one story from Mr MoOn’s Nightmares and tell us about the story, how you came up with the idea and any fun little factoids that you would like to share.
Grasshopper Seasons 1-8. I got the idea for killer grasshoppers when me and my little family were out hiking. A grasshopper half the size of my hand jumped from the dry grass between the pines and smacked me in the face. I squashed the fucker good but it really did freak me out. So I let my mind wander. Next thing I know I’m literally seeing killer grasshoppers attack people everywhere I went. Of course I didn’t want no sissy toxic spill or old hack radioactive reasoning behind my flesh-eating insects so The Pulse in The Dark was born of my love of H.P. Lovecraft. For a story that unfolded to me over the course of a month and a half it mixes my love of the old giant creature flicks, gore fests, and of course cosmic terrors into an eight part serial story that I get a lot of compliments on.
Sweetums, the giant…because he is BAD ASS.
You are being sent to a deserted island to live out your remaining days, but you will have a television with DVD player. You are allowed to take 3 movies. Two can be totally of your choosing, but one has to be a chick flick. What do you choose?
The Big Lebowski, Natural Born Killers, and, for the chick flick, Girl, Interrupted (cuz crazy chicks is sexy!)
What do you find scary?
Last question, since I’m usually over-caffeinated, because I love my coffee and my rating system for reviews is based on espresso shots…what is your favorite coffee drink? If not coffee, is there another drink that is a must during your day?
I drink coffee daily! If I’m at home I take it with cream and sugar. If I’m out and abroad I’ll usually go for something quad shot and mocha.
Thank you, again, Jonathan for taking the time to answer these questions. It has been a blast getting to know you a bit better. I wish you the very best and I look forward to reading much more from The MoOn!
DEATH MATCH question…and you thought you were done. Taking a page from your interview book, here is a DEATH MATCH question for you:
You have dubbed your style of writing as “horrorcore” essentially meaning that you find the horror/scary/bizarre in all things, even the most beautiful. Well, one of my favorite things is The Muppets. Many could and would argue that they are bizarre and scary in their own right and I won’t deny that they have a kind of strangeness to them, but I love them anyway. I, also, love zombies. So…tell me how The Muppets would handle their theater being overrun with the undead. You have 1500 words or less.
Sesame Street is burning. The large front window to The Fix-It shop is shattered and spread across the blood streaked sidewalk and flames blacken the window sill from the roaring blaze with in. A mail truck is smashed halfway through the brick wall of Hooper’s grocery store. Between two flipped over and still smoking cars a zombie Maria and Rafael tear greedily into the bloated red and yellow corpse of Big Bird. The sound of their ravenous feasting is interrupted by the rapid pattering of little puppet feet and someone screaming nonsense in a high pitched throat ripping wail.
Seconds later the manic-depressive Muppet Gonzo rounds the corner; screaming like a fuzzy blue banshee and waving a shot-gun. Zombie Maria and Rafael look up from their gamey feast just as Gonzo lets loose the first barrel and blows Maria’s brain matter all over the corpse of Skeeter lying behind her. A small horde of zombies round the corner Gonzo just came from howling and groaning as they stumble awkwardly forward. Rafael reaches for the speedy Gonzo as he screeches past and catches a face full of buck shot for his effort.
“Shit-shit-shit-shit,” Gonzo rambles quickly as he hops over the corpse of a nameless yellow Muppet with blue hair and bright green Muppet intestines hanging from a gaping wound in his side. The zombies move slowly but determinedly after the panicked Muppet. Gonzo reaches the door to the Muppets Theater sanctuary and spins around to face the ever closer zombie horde. He fumbles in his pocket with one hand while banging on the steel reinforced wood doors with his other. He turns back to the horde as Alan stumbles forward arms outstretched. Fuzzy orange gore drips from his mouth and splatters on his yellow polo shirt.
“Get back Alan or I’ll blow your freakin’ head off!” Gonzo screams but Alan’s corpse doesn’t understand the threat and he moves quicker dragging a badly broken ankle behind him. The door to the theater cracks open and Gonzo fires both barrels at Alan’s head. His head explodes and his body falls limply to his knees and then forward into the street. The dead behind him step on his carcass as they scramble for the disappearing Gonzo.
Gonzo dives through the door and trips as he enters. Sam the Eagle slams the door, stares down on Gonzo with his gargoyle snarl, and then shushes him with one feather. On the stage Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem is living up to their name, it seems as if each of the Muppet rock band are playing a different song. Gonzo jumps up, slaps the left head of the two-headed monster, and screams ‘ZOMBIES’ at the top of his lungs. Every Muppet in the theater turns and looks at Gonzo. For an instant the entire is silent, then the band continues playing and every other Muppet screams in terror.
“Ummm…excuse me….ummm…excuse me everybody…umm”
Miss Piggy looses her patience and screams, “Be QUIIIIIIIIIII-TTTTE!”
The theatre goes silent save for the sudden fierce pounding on the outside door. Dr. Teeth motions to the band members to lower their instruments, all comply except Animal who continues pounding out a random wild ass rhyme. Kermit clears his throat and tries again.
“Anything for you, Kermie.”
Kermit’s green fleece face blushes red and he continues, “Folks we always knew one day the zombie apocalypse would arrive. Luckily we are prepared. To your battle stations everyone!”
At their less than brave leaders words the Muppets erupt into panicked chaos. The pounding on the door increases and the Muppets run to it to hold back the street filled with dead humans outside. Miss Piggy snuggles up against Kermit and he weakly slaps her away.
“Not now, Piggy, there are zombies outside.”
Miss Piggy wraps her pink boa around his neck and pulls him close. “Yes, Kermie, if we are going to die, then, YES NOOOOW!”
She grabs him by his thin frog neck and tosses him backwards through the door behind him. It crashes in and she dives through after him. Unfortunately the door was to the ticket booth which had no windows left but still held the lower half of the concession Muppet. Miss Piggy screams and gets the attention of the zombies pounding on the door. Kermit bellows but is crushed under the screaming Miss Piggy. Mr. Hooper leans forward into the small open room and tumbles on top of the thrashing Muppet lovers. Soon the other zombies are following Hooper’s lead and are diving in after him. Piggy and Kermit are torn to shreds by the black teeth of the Sesame Street gang.
The zombies overfill the small room and stumble through the broken door into the theater. Inside the Muppets are running around. Most carry long blades, others are cocking their shot guns, but all are ready for the dead. Luis is the first zombie human to exit the room and he looks only slightly more demented than he did when he was alive. He lunges at Biff the construction worker and takes away a mouthful of orange flesh. Rowlf the dog smacks Luis across his back with a five iron but the dead man ignores him. From the balcony Statler and Waldorf scream down in unison, “Headshots you idiots!”
Before Rowlf has time to correct his mistake Gordon tears his head from his shoulders and bites into the dog Muppet’s furry face. Luis grabs the left head of the two headed monster and he sinks his teeth in between the heads. Susan, Bob, Molly the Mail Lady, and Linda follow Luis, Mr. Hooper, and Gordon into the chaos. Shot guns thunder and Muppets scream their death throes. Within the first few seconds the Muppets suffer terrible loses, including every minor character and most of Electric Mayhem. When all looks lost Animal comes bouncing from behind the curtain. He has a power saw tied to each hand and he rushes into the crowd yelling gibberish and disemboweling his life long human friends with glee. The zombies scatter from the tornado of gore that is the Muppet drummer but as they flee Bunsen screams a war cry and draws their attention to the other side of the stage. Beaker sways back and forth with a massive metal back pack. Bunsen reaches over and flicks a button on the side. Beaker squeals and a massive purple flame shoots from a nozzle connected to his back pack.
Within minutes and the double devastation of a mad-man Muppet with buzz saw fists and two nerdy mad scientist Muppets clears the theater of all zombies. In the ashes Fozzie Bear ties a red headband on as Gonzo cocks his shot-gun. Statler and Waldorf yell down at the surviving Muppets, “That was weak!”
“Yeah, if you want to impress me clear the street of the undead!”
“Ha! Clear the whole damn town if you think you are gonna impress me!”
Fozzie and Gonzo share a look and then turn and nod at Bunsen. Bunsen nods back and flicks the switch on the side of Beaker’s back pack. Beaker squeals and the balcony goes up in purple flames. As Statler and Waldorf scream in pained old man tones the remaining Muppets walk out of the theater into the chaos of a dead Sesame Street.